Caged Crusader

Troll #4 “Revolutionary Guard”

sildenafil on Flickr” href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/unkemptwomen/5002223657/”>troll3

The troll hereaboveforewith illustrated is the particularly Portuguese version of the archetype, view but the archetype is an international one. He is a late-middle-aged man, in this case a just-taken-early-retirement secondary school teacher who spends his now empty days with reading biographies of left wing politicians, spending too much time in the bars and cafés pontificating and postulating and proselytising about the evils of fascism and/or capitalism (the Portuguese version above is prone to saying “FashSEEEEESSHTA” too often) and reading and quickly responding to the online newspaper opinion columns. The Portuguese version here is a member of the communist party which is inexplicably still regarded as not a joke. In Britain, for example, he would be a member of the Labour Party, firmly OLD Labour.

He has his own blog which has no readers where he writes dismal tracts about poetry and socialism. He spends his afternoons and evenings (while his wife gets home from work and puts the dinner and laundry on) online, looking for “so-called academics” so he can call them “so-called academics” and fascists and idiots for questioning ANYTHING that isn’t covered by his very own version of socialist doctrine. He writes huge comments in overly complicated language, thinking he’s being clever, and gets into arguments with his fellow trolls about particularly uninteresting points barely mentioned in the original blog post or newspaper article. He has quite high blood pressure. He is a git.

Troll #5 “Manga Mama”

troll5

She recently had her first baby, and though the father is around, he’s even more passive agressive than she is. This leads her to spend much of her time online, alone, with the baby slung over her shoulder or clamped to her breast.

The baby, Porphyrea, is much loved, but has in no small way disrupted her life… she barely gets time to disinfect her belly piercing, (the nipple ones have had to go), so feels quite resentful that she isn’t 24 hours with the perfect hair and makeup for her rôle in life, that of manga-pixie-suicide-girl-cutie-pie. She takes her resentment out online, forging deep friendships in mothering forums and blogs by like-dressing girls, only to dash those friendships on the virtual rocks by willfully taking offense from not particularly offensive remarks that aren’t made at her anyway. It is not unknown for her to suggest that she is about to commit troll suicide in very vague terms, leading to a huge upsurge in traffic involving HER.
pilule on Flickr” href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/unkemptwomen/5003276273/”>troll5

She recently had her first baby, seek and though the father is around, health he’s even more passive agressive than she is. This leads her to spend much of her time online, alone, with the baby slung over her shoulder or clamped to her breast.

The baby, Porphyrea, is much loved, but has in no small way disrupted her life… she barely gets time to disinfect her belly piercing, (the nipple ones have had to go), so feels quite resentful that she isn’t 24 hours with the perfect hair and makeup for her rôle in life, that of manga-pixie-suicide-girl-cutie-pie. She takes her resentment out online, forging deep friendships in mothering forums and blogs by like-dressing girls, only to dash those friendships on the virtual rocks by willfully taking offense from not particularly offensive remarks that aren’t made at her anyway. It is not unknown for her to suggest that she is about to commit troll suicide in very vague terms, leading to a huge upsurge in traffic involving HER.
purchase on Flickr” href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/unkemptwomen/5004230617/”>troll6On the outside, physician this troll would not seem to be the prime candidate for being a troll. He has a decent job, cialis sale is quite well educated, is reasonably paid, is not a virgin, might even have a wife and family. However, he is a very bitter man. So bitter that he is seething with rage… not about things that might matter, let’s say hunger in the third world or unjustified violence, no. He seethes with jealousy…. and the best place for him to express that is the internet, where he can be anonymous (he thinks he is quite technically capable, but barely understands the power of the I.P. address). He HATES anyone he perceives as more talented than him. Or who has attained more than him. Or is a woman with any kind of talent. Or is a foreigner who has something to say about their adopted country. Worst is a foreign woman with some talent who has something to say about her adopted country (you MIGHT guess that I have a problem with this arsehole).

His vitriol knows no limits and leaves nasty snipey comments in blog posts, sometimes in a half jokey manner, trying to be clever with his nasty arsey thoughts.

He will end up alone after he alienates everyone in the real world. His only friend will be a bottle of whiskey.

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