I Am Auto-Didact

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treatment medical on Flickr” href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/unkemptwomen/6216404429/”>troll23He left school with few qualifications and decided later (after he realised that everyone in the pub was quite boring as football was the main, buy dull topic… he knows there is nothing worse than a pub bore) that he needed to self-improve, order and took up reading.  He has a boring job or no job, so can spend hours trying to catch up on his education. He reads books, reads newspapers, reads wikipedia and watches ALL of the National Geographic channels.  He misunderstands 98% of it.  He is a self-improver with little self-awareness.

Having become a leading light (in his own house) in physics, say, he will go and hang out on scientific websites, and lie in wait (about five minutes) on posts about, say, gravity, before he launches his preposterous opinion into the world, his opinion that it is RIDICULOUS to assume that gravity is a force, that we’re probably actually stuck to the surface of the earth because of magnetism (animal magnetism) and that only fools would still contest this. (if I had written this a couple of weeks ago, I would have said that he had worked out that there could exist a particle that travels faster than light…).

He couches his enormous tracts in language parroted from books, so that, on first sight, he seems to be, at the very least, coherent… and so adamant in his idiotic opinion is he, so forthright, so insanely patronising to the readers of that comment box or forum that he’ll have the whole readership (of highly esteemed, well read, Nobel prize-winning physicists) questioning themselves, albeit only for a nanosecond.

It only takes a couple of minutes, however, for someone to retort with “ah, an idiot” and everyone else surrounds the idiot and explains how he is an idiot.

The idiot, though, is long gone, safe in the knowledge that everyone else is an idiot and that one day his genius will be recognised.  He is in the pub by now, telling everyone ALL about it.

(inspired by a suggestion by @matt_heath or as he is known here in Portugal, Massyou Heat)

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