A Symptom of Society

rx on Flickr” href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/unkemptwomen/6253106143/”>troll29

Pictured here is a our troll, “Symptom”, and his wife.

“Symptom” spends an awful lot of time off work due to illness and, therefore, has an awful lot of time to spend in front of his computer.

He roams about, joining random forums that cover diverse subjects, from climate change to EastEnders, the economy to health.  He even frequents expat sites in countries he’d rather like to holiday in one day. Wherever he is a member, he reads every single new thread and HAS to leave a response, even if he doesn’t have the remotest clue about that subject and has nothing to say.  This is usually a dull, pointless response such as “I saw that programme, too” or “I shall be reading up on this”, all rather forgettable and ignorable.

However, should “Symptom” find an entry in a thread with which he disagrees vehemently he will make a ridiculous proclamation against it, à la “Climate change is the stupidest thing I ever heard of”.  If (when) this is challenged he will respond with insults and abuse…. and the very second someone comes back, perhaps with a shred of evidence, thereby making him look like the moron that he is, his “terrible illness” will be brought into the fight.

“How dare you talk to a sick man like that?  Have you no heart”?  He might even get some help from some thick bystanders (think Hope Charity Faith) who won’t even read the beginning of the thread, and just jump at the person who dared to question his climate change statement, for “bullying a dying man”.

And god help you if he finds you discussing anything to do with actual health.  He will get into an argument with anyone who doesn’t seem to be as critically ill as he, quoting all the medical journal articles he has ever read (and probably misunderstood) about his particular debilitating and life-threatening condition.

His condition? He suffers from a very mild irritable bowel (aka VMIB).  His wife is his enabler, encouraging him to stay at home and be ill, and pandering to his every idiotic whim.

He will die one day, of course, but that’s because he will walk in front of a bus, while planning a witty response to a very ignorant man who tried to tell him that one can’t die from VMIB.

with thanks to Robynn for the inspirings.