Captain Vague

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I could barely paint Captain Vague. He/she says so very little, that I can’t formulate the slightest idea about him/her, so very very vague he/she is, like a puff of tepid air in the internet ether. The only thing I know is that Captain Vague wants to make you feel uneasy and less cocksure… you and your hubristic blog…

Captain Vague interrupts interesting conversations and threads, just to stick a spanner in and bring the blogger down. He/she isn’t really sure about his/her own opinions on very much of anything, but does like to think that he/she is very wise.

He/she leaves the vaguest of remarks on your blog or thread, things such as “you would say that”, “Oh, you think?” or “ha. ha.” and the blogger is left in plenty of doubt about what the hell Captain Vague is trying to say.

If the blogger retorts, having understood that “ha. ha.” as sarcasm, there are SOME Captain Vagues who will try to increase the blogger’s discomfort by pretending that no, that “ha. ha.” was intended as a genuine belly laugh, and that he/she is left feeling horribly slighted by the blogger’s lack of faith in this ardent (never heard of before today, though) fan. This brings him/her the most enormous pleasure. He/she loves to bring bloggers — we selfish, arrogant, stuck-up, deluded fools — down a few pegs.

Captain Vague is the easiest of all trolls to ignore.


  1. Daddy Papersurfer

    Whatever …

  2. Anonymous

    yeah. that.